It’s the day before Thanksgiving. I should be getting ready to go to the day job where I’m fighting with my antique operating system to load a stupid service pack so I can get magic application development.

What have I been doing with myself lately?

Well, the novel was fail. Total fail. Why didn’t I just finish the damn thing? Because, honestly, I don’t think anyone would want to read it. I think the subject was interesting. I think the setting was interesting, but the story I wanted to tell just wasn’t working.

First, I’m surrounded by distractions. I know that’s a lame excuse. People work through distractions all the time writing novels the size of Gone With the Wind on their Twitter accounts taking the train to and from Manhattan. I say, good for them. That’s not me. I need long stretches of time without interruptions. Maybe when I’m moved into my own place this won’t be such an issue and I can tackle longer works. I don’t know, I’ll have to just wait and see.

Second, I’ve been shifting more of my attention to screenwriting. Technically, I’m shifting more of my attention to writing romantic comedies.

Why romantic comedies? How could you possibly go from writing speculative fiction to writing romantic comedies? What the hell?

Well, here’s the deal. I had a sort of ‘coming to Cthulhu’ moment and realized something important. I have built my ego on being a speculative fiction author. Never mind the fact that I like to read and write in genres outside speculative fiction. Never mind that most of my fantasy reads more like thinly disguised attempts at bad literary fiction. And never mind the fact that I’m attempting to write a type of speculative fiction that even most speculative fiction readers don’t really like. In the end, I had to ask myself, what the hell am I trying to prove and to whom am I trying to prove it?

I’ve done some soul searching and some ego checking.

I really like romantic comedies. Actually, I really like fun, funny romantic stuff. I like romance. I like love stories. I want to see two wacky kids meet and find love in all their wackiness.

I also love big epic stories about people exploring new worlds, but when they do this stuff, I also want them to find love, redemption, beauty, and other useful virtues. So I still love speculative fiction, I just don’t think I love the kind of speculative fiction I’m writing. That’s messed up.

I’m not sure what put me down this path. Maybe it was an attempt to live up to some expectations from others or maybe it was me just going down a road blindly failing to realize it wasn’t the road I wanted to go down.

I’m also funny. In real life, I make people crack up all the time. It tends to be dry and sarcastic humor, but it’s something I’m good at. I’m not sure why I’ve fought this. I’ve fought putting humor into my fiction, I’ve fought putting myself into my fiction.

I’ve been on a quest to be honest with my fiction, but I haven’t been allowing “myself” to be a part of my fiction.

What’s the plan?

The plan is to focus more on screenwriting. Some of you who know me know I’ve had a flirting fascination with filmmaking for years. I started this fascination in the theatre and moved into various amateur attempts, but they never amounted to much.

Well, I’ve decided to stop fucking around with stuff that might get me where I want to be some day and just aim right for the target. I want to write and sell one of the best romantic comedy scripts ever. I want to write the next When Harry Met Sally. I want to write the next Working Girl, or Pretty Woman, or some other charming romance.

The plan is to keep reading every screenplay I can get my hands on. To keep watching every romantic comedy I can. The plan is to go into this thing with a clear idea of what the genre expects and find ways to both embrace that and subvert it. The plan is to allow me, the real me, to be a part of my fiction. I’ll have to show all my weak and vulnerable parts, but that’s ok. I think I can handle that now.

Does this mean I won’t write any more short stories? No, of course not. It also doesn’t mean I’m giving up on my ambitions of writing great speculative fiction. However, right now, at the place I’m at, I just can’t keep doing what I’m doing and loving what I do. I’m just not feeling the love for speculative fiction that I used to feel and instead of forcing the relationship to work we’re going to separate for a little while. We’ll still see each other from time to time, but it’s time to start seeing other genre’s and mediums.

So for the two people who occasionally check my blog, I hope this isn’t too much of a disappointment. Probably not, because you can count my publishing credits on your right hand, even if you’ve lost a few fingers. Not a big loss.

I still plan to remain somewhat active locally with the speculative fiction community. I have a lot of friends there. I’ll still continue reading slush, I’ll still attend NTSFW, but my focus for the time being is on screenwriting. Specifically, screenwriting for a whole new genre.

So I reinvent myself again. Not the first time. Won’t be the last.

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